I graduated from the University of Maryland in May 2015. Everything changed after that; there are more responsibilities and deadlines. Syllabuses are not included.
I vividly remembered the ceremony day. The room was full of hopes, dreams and uncertainty. Everyone was laughing and hugging goodbyes, pretending everything is okay. I did not even want to go there because I felt like a failure; I was so unsure of my future. The only reason I went is because of my parents, I do not want to disappoint them. Most of my friends already received job offers. The post-graduation survey did not help either. One thing I knew for sure, I better started blasting those resumes out cause most of the students there were just as anxious and nervous as I was.
Fast forward to the second week of post-graduation, I entered the “jobless crisis” mode. Literally, every job I applied to, I failed their technical interviews. I was so crushed. I tried to study and review all my materials, but my nervousness got the best of me. At that point, I was so certain that I am going to be a homeless and live with my parents for the rest of my life. My best friend was still looking for jobs back then, but he landed on an engineering job in a matter of 3 weeks. I was so proud of him, but part of me also died a little. (Does it make me a bad person just to be jealous of my best friend? I do not know, I did tell him in a way, but there is more to that, and I do not want to go into depth for this post).
After applying to some 70 job applications within a two-months period, I was able to start my career as a technical assistant. This was not my ideal job, but I was willing to take any opportunity at that point. Thankfully, I was able to meet few incredible people there. They inspire me to become a better person. “Never compromise your own uniqueness to meet someone else standards, be your own ground, and stand up for yourself”. Company wise, it was a freak show: lots of political agendas and gossips. I am working in a new company for four months now. It is less hectic, people there are respectable, and my teammates are awesome.
In term of relationship, I have none. I broke up with my boyfriend after I graduated from college. I put all my energy into work and work only. (There were few flings, but it did not go anywhere – I wished it would, but it never did). I might blog some relationship experience later on, but I am no expert, I am like an infant.
During these times, I have learned few things about myself and my life after college. Family support and faith are the main keys that keep me going. Without these two components, I would not survive. Every rejection letter adds a drop of disappointment in my soul, luckily, I turned to my family for support and encouragement. Believing in something that is larger than myself enables me to view life differently. It makes me feels that hard work does pay off, I just need to stay focused and hone my strengths and skills. Someone will eventually notice it.
This past one year and a half is a roller-coaster ride for me. With all of the craziness and loneliness, one thing I know for sure, I would not change a damn thing about my life. I am not saying this just because I am in a better place now than the day I graduated. All those feelings, experience, lessons, and emotions make me who I am today. Who knows what the future holds, but I am ready to face it. Enjoy the moment, accept defats, learn from them, and move on. There are the steps that I am still figuring out myself.
Stay blessed and Happy Monday –